The Times of Malta
Monday, 5th April 2010
Fiona Galea Debono
The story of single mum Maria and her five children living in a garage has drawn a warm reaction from readers, who pledged cash and help in kind in support of the family.
The story of a 27-year-old single mother of five living in a garage with her children has generated scores of pledges for the young family, including a cheque for €1,000 and free paediatric services and medicines.
The wave of support was mixed with some criticism for the mother, who had the children from three different men, none of them acknowledged as fathers.
But besides that, scores of e-mails and telephone calls flooded The Times after Maria* told the newspaper how she ended up living in a garage in Marsascala, acknowledging, to a certain extent, her blame for her circumstances.
The feedback - both positive and negative - was justified by the social worker who has been following Maria's case for over two years now and was overwhelmed by the unexpected response.
Pledges of money were accompanied by actual cheques, furniture, household appliances, including a TV and a PlayStation, offers to fix her rudimentary lodgings, food, clothes, nappies, as well as the free services of a paediatrician and medicines.
And while Vince Tonna, who is also the chairman of Caritas's Marsascala Diaconia Commission, is grateful, he also knows that these donations need to be managed and not simply handed over to Maria.
In fact he is acting as the middleman, as it were, knowing that the single mother might blow any funds on the wrong "needs". The idea is to find someone to administer the money and spread it over time.
"Last week, she did a nose ring, which I thought was extra if she is hassling about money. But she said it cost €2 and she did it for her birthday," he notes.
Any cheques are being addressed to the parish priest. And Mr Tonna has laid down a series of agreed conditions that Maria would have to adhere to for her own good to benefit from the charity. Should she not comply, the money would be diverted to other needy families.
Among the conditions is that she move her children to the Marsascala primary school, which would mean she has no excuses for them to be absent, such as lack of petrol.
Truancy and education are something Mr Tonna feels strongly about and he has been running after Maria to avoid absenteeism. Children from underprivileged backgrounds are exempt from paying for school outings and other costs once the authorities know about them, so she has no excuses to keep them at home, he insists.
The social worker is, in fact, most concerned about the welfare of Maria's children. They need to be educated not to follow in her footsteps, as too often happens, he points out.
"I understand that the mother's behaviour is unacceptable, having continued to have children despite being poor. I cannot interfere in her private life but I feel responsible for the kids; they are here now and they need to be catered for," he says, expressing his relief that Maria has "tied up her tubes".
Her own situation is a reflection of her unstable family background and her relatives have also gone down a similar path, he says, pointing to the downward spiral people like her often end up in.
"If Maria, who has promised me she is tackling this, sends her children to school in the locality, they can enjoy free transport and I will not turn up anymore to find them at home for some reason."
Mr Tonna is all for fining parents who break the law by not sending their children to school. However, he questions whether Maria was ever actually sent a fine, or made to pay it, and how many times social workers from the Education Division checked on her to see if she was keeping her children at home.
"This would serve as a deterrent; we cannot use poverty as an excuse," he says, insisting that education is the only way her children can improve their hopes for a better future.
Mr Tonna is also insisting that Maria applies for social housing for the benefit of her children, who need to live in more adequate conditions.
He fears she may not be willing to do so because she would lose the assistance she is enjoying from the Marsascala Diaconia Commission, and once housing is offered, it cannot be refused.
Having years of experience in the field, Mr Tonna has a realistic - not romantic - view of the situation, and also accepts the criticism that has targeted Maria.
Readers pointed out that if she were so poor, she would not be able to afford a car and pay the required licences and fuel.
While Mr Tonna admits that people in her position often get their priorities wrong, and he knows Maria bought her car with the government allowance for the birth of a child, he explains that it is hardly a luxury vehicle. It gives her more trouble than not but is essential to help her integrate into society.
"God forbid she did not have that either, and I can understand she saw it as a priority. However, I do know of cases where owning a car is not justified, and where deception is the order of the day," he says.
"Last week, I discovered that a man on the dole, who has been complaining to me about his dire situation - and to whom I have been giving food - bought a fancy car.
"That is simply not on," he says, adding that the man in question is asking for an invalidity pension but was also found to be fit as a fiddle, painting his flat.
Mr Tonna is calling for the Appoġġ social work agency to organise a care conference that would gather people close to Maria to come up with a plan of action aimed at sorting out her problem and not just tackling it superficially and temporarily. The conference would also raise any issues that have been neglected and the reasons why.
Mr Tonna is practically the woman's lifeline but it is his strict and long-term approach that is likely to help her and her children most - not the baskets of food he delivers to her every month.
Fathers and benefits
A father's social benefits should always be cut to pay for his children's maintenance, despite being unemployed, according to social worker Vince Tonna.
That is how to reduce abuse, he says, referring to unemployed fathers who do not maintain their children, especially those born out of wedlock.
Most fathers are registered as unknown because they are on the dole and it is easier for the mother to obtain money from the government, he maintains, apart from the fact that it stops them from interfering in the children's upbringing.
In some cases, even if the father is obliged to pay a sum of money, if he fails to do so, the single mother does not have the means and time to continue fighting the battle in court. Many end up giving up, Mr Tonna reports.
Mr Tonna also suggests cutting the children's allowance if a child misses school, education being the only way out of this vicious cycle.
"If we want to be serious about this, police should stop parents and question them if they are seen out with their children on school days."
While Mr Tonna dedicates most of his time to assisting such cases, he does not agree with increasing their social welfare benefits, believing it would just fuel more abuse and encourage them to have more children.
He believes money should go towards more services and not more benefits in hand.
Having said that, he does not agree that someone in Maria's shoes should get a full-time job, but should focus on bringing up her five children.
As things stand, the difference between the minimum wage and the social benefits is a measly €12, he points out.
This means full-time work is not feasible and a part-time job is definitely less so for Maria, despite the fact that she would like one.
While social benefits should remain what they are, the minimum wage should be increased to incentivise single mothers to go to work.
Only in that case, and if childcare facilities are stepped up, should these mothers consider working, he believes.
Maria's situation is also caused by society and the State, while the Church has a role to play too in his view. If the Church's priority is truly the poor, it should carry some of the burden, lead by example and open the doors of its schools to these families, he suggests.
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20100405/local/help-floods-in-for-maria
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment